Missing
by Slytherin-Abbyforever
Summary: Tate. Post-Twilight eventhough it is written in Kate's POV. Kinda strange. Songfic: Evanescence's Missing.


**TITLE: MISSING  
Spoilers: Twilight definitely.  
Pairing: Tate  
Rating: PG 13.  
Song: Missing by Evanescence  
Warnings: Character death. From twilight so y'all should know.  
Author's note: Kate's POV.  
**

_**Please, please forgive me,  
But I won't be home again.  
Maybe someday you'll look up,  
And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:  
"Isn't something missing?"**_

I was too young to die. I know that. People know that. I didn't plan to ever have much of a future throwing myself into my work, knowing I was putting my life on the line every single time. And it was my work that killed me. My passion for saving lives that took mine away from watching my daughter grow up, or at least be around long enough so she would remember me if I had to go. But here I am and as I watch life resume as if nothing ever happened I have to ask myself if I actually ever made a difference and if I'll be remembered now that I'm gone. I don't think they will.

_**You won't cry for my absence, I know -  
You forgot me long ago.  
Am I that unimportant...?  
Am I so insignificant...?  
Isn't something missing?  
Isn't someone missing me?**_

I always thought that I was going to either die saving someone's life or of old age. And I watch the person in particular who is still alive because I'm not. And it is disturbing to see him nearly join me every single day. It makes me feel that my death was in vain. Does he not think of me when he puts himself back on the line every time he goes out on a case, as he faces dangerous criminals, as he puts himself in dangerous positions every day? Doubt it.

_**Even though I'm the sacrifice,  
You won't try for me, not now.  
I'm all alone.  
Isn't someone missing me?**_

Just because I died for the greater good, because I died for a cause, what does that mean? My death acted as motivation for the thing to be done that could have and should have been done long before I became the sacrifice. Does that mean that after that purpose was fulfilled, should I have been forgotten?

_**Please, please forgive me,  
But I won't be home again.  
I know what you do to yourself,  
I breathe deep and cry out,  
"Isn't something missing?  
Isn't someone missing me?"**_

Now I have to watch as my daughter stops asking for me and as my husband stops looking at pictures of us at happy times for fear of crying. Is it bad for a husband to cry when his wife is brutally and suddenly killed? I see him training himself in the gym for too long and getting so angry that it scares our little girl. If I was there I could bring him back down from this and he would be his old-self again. I always saw that his inability to express his emotions normally choosing rather to indulge himself, could be destructive. Is he missing me or is his reaction because there is no one there to stop him from becoming that person he always had potential to be?

And to think that I would actually get an answer to my questions now. I didn't think I would. But as he and our beautiful daughter, Sandy come to see me. It could be seen that he had cried. He had actually cried.  
"I miss you more everyday, Kate. Sandy and I will never forget you and don't think that I am going to let anyone at NCIS do so either. Why did it have to happen, we were actually happy?" He asked me holding back more tears and if could have had one minute of life back it would be to hold him. If only I could answer his question, point is even if it was possible there was no answer. Being dead wasn't the restriction on answering that one.  
"Bye bye, Mommy." The four year old said quietly as she put her newest drawing on my grave. This was all just so wrong. I shouldn't have died. Not now.  
"I will always love you and you will never ever be forgotten." He said as he started to rub his eyes to prevent the tears from streaking his face.  
"Come on Tony. Sandy, come with Aunt Abby." Abby said from the back. I hadn't noticed her standing in the back near the car. So maybe there are people who remember me and miss me.


End file.
